Holding on

It's funny what we hold on to....
During our process of letting go, I've come across an item that I've been toting around, taped up and sealed, stuffed away for 30 + years.  It's the only item left, that I can think of, that crossed the ocean with me, some 23 years ago, during my move to the United States.
It's not really valuable, although it is no longer produced and nearly impossible to find, it's not really sentimental in nature, I mean, no one special gave it to me, it wasn't passed down through the generations, to be honest, I can't even remember when I bought it.

 I can tell you, for me, at that time it was a HUGE luxury. An expense, I certainly could not afford, and the purchase of it must have really put a strain on our budget. Luxuries, during that point in my life, simply weren't an option.

But here it is, I still have it and it even made the cut, to move with us across the country, in those 8 boxes that were to become our life,  some 7 months ago. Anais Anais powder!

I've kept this powder sealed up tight, unused for over 30 years...Why?????

I have not so much, as enjoyed one single soft, intoxicatingly delicious smelling puff of pure pleasure in all of these years. How ludicrous......

Thankfully, most of the heavenly manna is still inside, just sitting there silently, just waiting to be enjoyed.

So now, she sits on my bathroom shelf, where I give myself a hefty pat of pleasure, after every shower, and where I will continue to enjoy her until there is none left, and then I will release her.

It really is funny what we hold on to, isn't it? What are you holding on to?

Saying Goodbye

Dear Facebook,

We've been friends for 8 years now, and we've sure have had some good times together.

Because of you, we've been able to connect with old friends from years past and even make some new ones. We've been able to share in others' lives, to see and show first hand all of the intimate and important details of our lives. Meaningful things, you know, like those dazzling photos of last night's gourmet dinner, or how your really upset and angry but won't tell me why,  or my personal favorite,   30 consecutive selfies, in ridiculous poses showing nary a wrinkle or flaw, miraculously having not aged since high school, some  32 years ago....How we every lived without you.

So I'm sorry to say, my friend that we are saying goodbye. We just have to let you go, with all of your constraints on our precious time. And that goes for your cousins Instagram, Twitter, and Snapchat too.

Yours Truly.....

UPDATE: 

It's been a month since we've disconnected from our Social media buddies, and I can truly say, that it was painless, at least for me.  I no longer sit and compare my life, with others, which has done amazing things for me personally.By no longer being able to judge and compare myself with others, I found a bit of peace within myself. Most noticable though, is the amount of time, we now spent with each other. Instead of sitting in the same room together, both glued to our phones, we have time to talk, plan, laugh, and dream.

Now that's what I call living......

.

Changes

I don't know if this blog is as much about Minimalism as it is about a desire to change the way in which I think, react, and move in this world of mine.

More about all of the changes that I want in my Life..... A life that I've made by excluding and cutting myself off from people, community, experiences, and those little nuances of life that make it worth living. Somehow I've spent nearly a half a century boxing myself in, cutting myself off from others, making my capacity to enjoy life narrower and narrower, till all I that have left is this tiny box, I've built around myself, cut off from the magic of Life, becoming more rigid with each passing year.

Most of what I thought I knew about life was dead wrong.....

Opening up, letting people in, just as they are, with all of their quirks, taking stock of what's really important to me, living in the moment without having to control every detail, living lightly and simply, without all of the unnecessary baggage, that is what I wish for in this journey.....................

Chasing Happiness

Moving forward, it would probably help to rewind just a bit so you can understand where we came from, how we got here,  and where we're going. from here.

My husband and I bought a small home in a quiet suburb in Upstate New York, where we've lived for the past 8 years. A little pale green, two story cape with a large deck and fenced in yard,  coming in at just under 850 square feet and in need of some serious TLC, which sadly to say, we never gave it.

With a mortgage so ridiculously low, that it's almost embarrassing, we should have been the happiest people on earth.  Seriously, what more could you want out of life?

But instead, we spent the past 8 years, bitching and griping about the cold and gloomy Syracuse weather, the lack of exciting entertainment, the annoying and pitiful locals who seemed happy and content in their shitty cold life. ( Which, we determined, was because, sadly enough,  they just didn't know any better. )

Having lived overseas and traveled extensively myself,  to which I was very  happy to tell just about anyone who'd listen.  " Look at me, I'm important, I'm better than this, I'm better than you! " is what I told myself

Instead of enjoying our life, that was relatively simple, after paying off all of our debt, with the exception of our mortgage, we plotted our escape... chasing that ever-elusive thing called happiness.

So here's what our list of  Things we MUST have to be happy looked like:

1. Sunny warm, year-round weather ( that's not too much to ask, right?)
2. Lots and lots of exciting entertainment ( aka cool bars, exciting sporting events ( my husband) concerts, and outdoor events. ) We are nearing 50 & 60 respectively.....
3. Cheap, safe, and affordable living, preferably somewhere with a pool and jacuzzi

I'm  embarrassed just typing the words.....

So, to make a long story short, we rented our affordable little house to our daughter, who could resume our 450 dollar mortgage payment ( taxes included ), stuffed our garage to the gills, with all of the crap, that we just couldn't bear to part with yet couldn't take along ( you know....the important stuff like hockey gear, old computer desks, crates full of decorations, cookbooks, and old bar signs) We shipped our car across the country, followed by  8 HUGE boxes, that would now be our life, quit our jobs, and headed off to California to share a small 2 bedroom  $1700 apartment with our daughter and 7 year old grandson...

YES!!!! this was LIFE, That's what I'm talking about! Look at us, you losers, we're outta here!

Fast forward 7 months, and here we are living the dream, overflowing with immeasurable happiness and joy!                                                                            NOT

Here's the thing...... "You can't get enough of the things that you don't really want."

I read this recently and was surprised that the simplicity of those words, could carry such a deep and profound meaning.   That one sentence basically sums up the story of our life.  We've been chasing happiness for so long, that we forgot what happiness even was.
So why does showing off an imagined life full of adventure, that looks AMAZING on Facebook and Instagram, that sounds so important and special to everyone else, feels so empty and hollow now?

5 months and counting till our return "HOME". I feel as though we've been given a second chance, a chance to do it better. It's like a window has been opened and the light has finally come in.

I don't expect things will be perfect and I know we will struggle, mostly with our attitudes and expectations of life, but for the first time, I think we just might have a chance.

The Beginning

It's funny how a seemingly inconsequential event can become a catalyst for major change in your life. Of course, somewhere deep down, the need for a major shift in Life's priorities must have been buried there, like a seed in the dark, just waiting for a ray of light to start it's upward climb, even if I didn't realize it until that very moment. At least, that is what happened to me.

I've known for a long time, that something was missing from my life, something unbalanced and unchecked. Somewhere I seemed to have gotten lost in the maddening, vicious cycle of life. Like a hamster on the wheel, just going in circles, day after day, with no real purpose, no direction, Just a bunch of unfulfilled wants and needs, that seem to grow with each passing day. But no matter what I used to fill these voids, they persist.

Somewhere I've lost the true meaning of life, and no amount of stuff,
trips, or vacations, ever seem to satisfy me for long, There has got to be a better way to live.

So recently, on one of my decidedly boring evenings of surfing Netflix for the latest cheesy show to watch,  I stumbled across a documentary on Minimalism, and I was immediately intrigued.

Could it really be that simple? Live lightly and gracefully with only the necessities, and a few special items, and open up a world of possibilities? A world of more....... but not in the traditional sense.

More time with loved ones, more open space, more financial freedom to immerse yourself into what's important, just by letting go of everything in the way...mostly crap.  It makes perfect sense to me.

So this is our journey into the world of minimalism. Nothing fancy, nothing rushed, just a slow and steady shift into this new world of Living Simple not simply living.